Exit, Stage Left

Today my decision to divorce my job went public. I love my team so that was sad. But it was also liberating. It was time. There was nothing left for me there apart feeling frustrated and banging my head against a concrete wall.

The emails I’ve received have been heart felt and moving. This has been my longest “marriage” – 12.5 years of putting my work first, The key lessons from today are:

  1. Stay true to yourself. Put yourself first. People will respect you for it.
  2. 98% of what we worry about never happens. Stop worrying and start living.
  3. People will focus on their own loss or gain before they can hear what you have to say. Let people deal with their emotions.
  4. We make too many assumptions and there are many people who only show their emotions when it’s too late. But again, stay true to what you want and need.
  5. Politics are alive and well in corporate America. Let go. The machine will continue to chug.

“There’s a trick to the ‘graceful exit.’ It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over — and let it go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving up, rather than out.”
― Ellen Goodman

Is Your Job Killing You?

That’s a new article in the Atlantic that caught my eye since my job has been slowly impacting my health. I wasn’t paying attention until I got a rude awakening. Don’t put your work ahead of your health.

I am tired of seeing articles about doing what you love because that’s great advice but how do you really make that dream a reality?


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Divorcing Your Company: Acceptable Gain

HBR’s article When Should You Quit Your Day Job? obviously, caught my attention. For me, it’s about reclaiming my life and redefining how to live my values. When titles and getting ahead become meaningless, I find myself re-evaluating what’s truly important. Yesterday I saw a number of colleagues from work at a friend’s son 1 year birthday party. The conversations were about how awful their work situations are. There was no excitement or joy; only stress.

So what does the HBR article tell us? Some good advice for anyone going through the transition of divorcing their job and company …
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Dealing with Burnout

I recently told my mom that I wish that my parents prepared me for life with different values. All I heard growing up was “get an education, marry, have a family and have a great career.” What I wish I heard was: “get the credentials you need to live your life fully. It’s all about today.”

<Sigh>

At least I figured it out now. I am finding huge similarities between my divorces and leaving my job and company. And I think for women, when we make up our minds, it is too late to go back. My second ex thought that I would come back to my senses and realize how great he is and I am not serious about the divorce. It’s now happening at work. I made up my mind. I am totally burned out. I find corporate America to be soulless. The kool-aid tastes like sour milk. I am giving away the t-shirts, mugs and awards. They don’t have the same flavor and appeal anymore.

And an increasing number of studies show that top talent is leaving because of burnout and poor leadership. No shit! It’s amazing how hard we work — long days, nights, weekends, vacations. Sound familiar?

And we don’t stop ourselves to ask why.

But when we do stop and decide to deal with our demons, we realize that we are so exhausted from working all the time and putting up with an inane amount of bullshit from people we don’t respect and we need to do something about it.

We also jump right into the solution, which is what paralyzes most of us. The truth is we don’t have to have the answer. We need to work at finding it and it is hard since there is a lot of soul-searching that takes place.

I am ready for this scary and exciting journey …

PS: A great read: “Top talent leave an organization when they’re badly managed and the organization is confusing and uninspiring.”

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