“It is our choices, Harry, that show us what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” J.K. Rowling

You can be anxious.

You can worry.

You can feel victimized

You can make up theories in your head of the worst thing that can happen in every situation.

You can live your life with fear.

And as Seth Godin says, “Anxiety is experiencing failure in advance.”

OR

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Knowing that You Are Dealing with Bullies

I have zero tolerance for bullies – people who feel a need to abuse other people for their own emotional gain. I have mentored and coached many people who have been bullied and am sharing this information to make us more aware of the signs of bullies. Bullies should come with warning labels but they don’t. The key is to be able to identify them early on and walk away so they don’t take a devastating impact on your health. No one has the right to bully another human being. Bullies equally exist in large organizations and small ones. They tend to be incredibly self-righteous and the best way to protect you is to create an exit strategy. Life is too short to be abused by insecure people.

What is bullying?

  • Constant nit-picking, fault-finding and criticism of a trivial nature – often there is a grain of truth (but only a grain) in the criticism to fool you into believing the criticism has validity, which it does not
  • Simultaneous with the criticism, a constant refusal to acknowledge you and your contributions and achievements
  • Finding that everything you say and do is twisted, distorted and misrepresented
  • Not listening and imposing their opinions on you
  • Being coerced into leaving

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Getting unstuck and seeing

Too often, we don’t see what’s right in front of us. We spend too much time thinking we are stuck. And yet, we don’t ask ourselves the question that terrifies most of us:

Why am I stuck?

Because if we asked ourselves this question, we would have to deal with our fears. It would make us vulnerable. And that’s just not cool in our world.

I don’t care who thinks it is cool. I want to be happy. And to get there, I need to do the hard work and deal with my fears. Continue reading

When someone shows you who they are …

in the first 15 seconds, believe them.

Often, we make excuses for people.

They didn’t really mean it.

They didn’t say that.

But people tend to give us a glimpse of who they are and we have been conditioned to make excuses for bad behavior.

Think about it. People may try to put their best face forward but if they say they are anxious and stressed and you think it is an excuse, what they are telling you is that they are anxious.

Believe them. And move on. You will have a much fuller life not letting negative people into your life.

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