I have zero tolerance for bullies – people who feel a need to abuse other people for their own emotional gain. I have mentored and coached many people who have been bullied and am sharing this information to make us more aware of the signs of bullies. Bullies should come with warning labels but they don’t. The key is to be able to identify them early on and walk away so they don’t take a devastating impact on your health. No one has the right to bully another human being. Bullies equally exist in large organizations and small ones. They tend to be incredibly self-righteous and the best way to protect you is to create an exit strategy. Life is too short to be abused by insecure people.

What is bullying?

• Constant nit-picking, fault-finding and criticism of a trivial nature – often there is a grain of truth (but only a grain) in the criticism to fool you into believing the criticism has validity, which it does not
• Simultaneous with the criticism, a constant refusal to acknowledge you and your contributions and achievements
• Finding that everything you say and do is twisted, distorted and misrepresented
• Not listening and imposing their opinions on you
• Being coerced into leaving

How do I recognise a bully

• Vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature – only the current target sees both sides
• Uses lots of charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present; the purpose is to compensate for lack of empathy
• Exhibits much controlling behavior and is a control freak
• Often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their behavior and treatment of others
• Has an overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, trust and integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, distrust and deceitfulness)