Recently, there have been days when the ride has been blissful and then there were those really scary moments when you get to the top of the roller coaster and that sudden, fast swoosh sound from the wheels of the car below (or on top?) makes your insides feel like they are about to explode and you let out that gut wrenching scream. Sound familiar? Doesn’t it feel better after you get to yell at the top of your lungs?
We want to take a risk. We doubt. We fear. We feel overwhelmed. We second guess. We look for answers from others. We want to learn how they did it. We try their 7-step quick fix. We realize it may work for them but not us.
We try again. We do something safe but we know it’s not enough. We do something that everyone else would describe as “crazy!” We breath. We are still alive. We unlearn. We create. We learn how to ask for help.
We find courage. We fall flat on our face. We deal with disappointment or rejection.
We purge stuff, jobs and people that don’t fit. We make space. We move on.
We get up. We dust off the hurt.
We recalibrate. We unleash ourselves. We experience euphoria.
And then, we lather, rinse, repeat. We celebrate doing the hard work and come to grips with being human.
No one know what we want. We can buy into the noise and what society deems as success or we can do the hard work and figure it out. As a good friend recently shared with me, our generation is the one that is “trapped.” That is why we are working so hard to unlearn. How can someone else know what you need and what you want to do?
Instant May Work for Coffee
As long as we are fully alive, we are constantly learning and course correcting. As I continue my journey of unlearning, I am paying more attention to what’s important and what I want and don’t want. Getting healthy has been my number 1 priority in divorcing who I am from what I do for a living. And ironically, my work has improved as a result.
It continues to be a life changing journey as I do the hard work not just in changing how I eat, how I move and how I work. It is also about connecting with people who are real and accept me for who I am, which is the hard part. I have unlearned so I can appreciate the people who are there when life is good and when I screw up. And part of unlearning is not to see it as “screwing up” but as having the courage to try different options, admit what doesn’t work for us and then practice forgiveness so we can move on.
Not dwelling on stuff and knowing when to let go is key. But it’s also about doing the hard work in a world of connivence, abundance and quick fixes.Have you seen the people promoting shakes that will help you lose weight immediately? Do you think they really work or is there someone behind them trying to take your money so they can be an instant millionaire?
It is about asking the tough questions, spending the time exploring and trying and trying again until it makes sense to you; not anyone else. Following what is expected of us is easy. Leaving that job that makes you physically ill is not easy — despite the signs — because we are taught to never give up. I was once told by my “boss” that he knew that I was really good at “working/playing hurt.” What he meant was that despite everything, I always got the job done and he could rely on me. My reward was getting more work. But at what cost?
Not being able to bring who you are to work and being shut down is not the answer. That’s not the hard work.
I now work with organizations and leaders who have a deep desire to put people first and help them unleash their super powers and create new markets, wherever they are in the world.
What would you do, if you could do anything?
Are you wired for instant gratification or do you want to do the hard work?