Doing the Hard Work: Saying No to Instant Gratification

Instant Gratification: Not!Have you ever experienced life as a big roller coaster ride?

Recently, there have been days when the ride has been blissful and then there were those really scary moments when you get to the top of the roller coaster and that sudden, fast swoosh sound from the wheels of the car below (or on top?) makes your insides feel like they are about to explode and you let out that gut wrenching scream. Sound familiar? Doesn’t it feel better after you get to yell at the top of your lungs?

We want to take a risk. We doubt. We fear. We feel overwhelmed. We second guess. We look for answers from others. We want to learn how they did it. We try their 7-step quick fix. We realize it may work for them but not us. Continue reading

The Road to Wellness is Tough and Yet, Rewarding

TimeWhat have you done for YOURself today?

We are socialized into a broken system that surrounds us each day of our life. It is sad but true that many people go through their life living someone else’s expectations of them: whether it is being a wife or husband, a parent, a worker, a community member, a citizen and an overall human being. We get sucked into peer pressure and false notions of “success.”

I ran away from home this year for my birthday. This is the first of many trips. It is going to be a life long celebration of my birth and it is beginning with this trip. I am focused not so much on QTR (quality time remaining) but QTB (quality time beginning). I no longer worry about disappointing anyone else in my life apart from myself. And no, I have not become a mega-narcissist (and believe me, I am sure since I once was married to one). I have spent this past year, since firing myself from corporate America, doing the really hard work. And it’s paying off. I am seeing improvements in all areas of my health and wellness. Continue reading

Never Ever Give Up


If you see life as a journey, you won’t expect instant gratification. Like any journey, there are highs, lows and twists in the road.

I feel sad when people give up hope. My take is that when you run into roadblocks, you need to:

1. Stop and breathe. Always breathe.

2. Turn down the volume on the voice in your head. What’s in your control? What can you do right now?

3.Are you waiting to be picked for the next job, project or event? What can you do to pick yourself?

And lastly, be kind to yourself. Sometimes you start something and it’s not for you. That’s not failure. That’s wisdom. Know when to turn up the volume and when to simply walk away.


Face your Fears and Unleash Yourself

regretsHow do you know when you’re done? When it’s time to move on? Sometimes it’s an impulse where the universe steps in and screams at us, like my United  flight disaster. Other times you spend time thinking through your decision. But no matter how ready we believe we are, it is tough to let go of the past and our comfort zone. We don’t like feeling incompetent. Our fears too often get in the way.

What scares the living day lights out of you and why will you do something about it today? Is it that you are “just not good enough,” “not ready,” or is that “you will fail and embarrass yourself?” What’s your story and what can you do about it? What’s holding you back? Continue reading

Preview from Getting Unstuck: You need to pick yourself and know what you need to make

Pick YourselfEvery kid can’t wait until they can be a grownup. The fantasy is that when you are an adult you can make your own choices, stay up all night and drink grownup beverages. It looks so easy and rewarding. But nobody tells you that it’s a lot tougher than it looks, that those feelings that you have that you are not good enough, that you’re doing something wrong, they tend to stay with you. Most people spend their life time trying to fit in and measure up. But there is a time when you start to see the truth that being grownup simply means that you know who you are and that you have the courage to be that person.

Most of us were raised to be ordinary but we all want to live an extraordinary life. We put restrictions on ourselves. What do you expect of yourself? Can you manifest the types of relationships you would like? If it were as simple as just following a manual, then everyone would just do that and be a success. You can go beyond being average. Continue reading

What melts your butter?

We are programmed “to do.” We are warned not to “waste our time.” Taking time “to simply be” is a foreign concept that does not register for so many people. I was taught that you are either productive or lazy and being productive is much more important. What I’ve learned is that being mindful and taking time to be is so important and necessary to feel, think and decide what we want. When we are in perpetual motion, we just do.

I had dinner with a former colleague last week who made me realize how addicted I used to be to my work and how loyal I was to my company. Had they needed to let me go, they would have done it in a heart beat. And yet, I agonized over leaving my company and divorcing my job because people relied on me. The reality is that the company is still standing tall and I probably gained years in my life. It never would have happened had I not had to stop and reflect. I had to see how much of my life I was missing as I ran by the moments that mattered. I am thankful that I had to stop and pay attention. It was a gift.

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